.................................I've been sitting in front of my computer for half an hour now, playing with my fingers on the keys, I roll, I spin, I write a word, I erase it, I light a cigarette, I whale...

CIGARETTE No 1. What the hell should I write? I am no journalist...I can't write you know, I am a fashion designer, I draw, I create.

CIGARETTE No 2. I know! Imagine I am ten, my grandma has Alzheimer's. I look at her. She looks at me. We understand nothing, neigher me, nor her. It is quiet in the house. I go to the cupboard, I open the drawer, I pick up the scissors and I get near her. She looks at me, I look at the scissors. I go behind her and I cut her hair. Nothing happens. I look at her, I go to my mother's room, I search for her make-up kit..
I go back and I start to put make-up on her. I bring her some of my mother's clothes, I tell her to dress with them. Happy with the new image, I smile: Grandma wouldn't you like to go outside for a walk? My grandma leaves...tick tick tick...time passes. My father comes home with my grandma.. I am punished in my room. Isn't the age of innocence so beautiful? I was an ass, I'm sorry.

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What else should I write for you? I'm not capable of speaking about myself. What can I say? That I am a young designer who wants to conquer the world? Bullshit - Let's get serious. Who would read such a thing? Wait, I know,  I studied in Vienna. Four years.
(This is the serious part of the article. We leave the joking aside. there is alot to say if we were to speak about how difficult it is to become designer, to learn, to learn to trust yourself, to learn to love what you do,  to accept your victories and defeats with the same modesty, to try entering a world so small and savage. Do you really want me to tell you that there is nothing harder and at the same time more beautiful than creative work? If I were to tell you nothing but two words about the things I want to do next, well I want to become somebody, I want to be resepcted for my work even if that means identifying myself with what I do. I don't know how much effort I have to make, I don't know what and most of all how many things I still have to give up. I don't know what to expect, but I will certainly find a way to fullfil my dream. I'm not writing in a young talent's column for nothing.

That's it. that's all I had to say. That's me. I have nothing else to say. I'll go put myself something to drink. I don't feel like smoking anymore, I don't feel like this world anymore, I'm depressed, I need something new in my life.